Are You Listening?

Written by: Sandi MacCalla – Founder, LifeSkills Academy – 6/9/2025

Skillful Listening Elevates Work, Relationships, & Everyday Success

Today, we’re revisiting the art of listening as a powerful counterbalance to our earlier post, The Art of Interrupting. Whether you're leading a meeting, deepening an important relationship, or simply engaging with someone at the grocery store, listening is a choice and a skill that leads to real connection.

Here’s why it matters — and how to strengthen your listening muscles.

Some Eye-Opening Facts:

• 45% of communication is spent listening. (Rankin Study, Ohio State University)
• The brain processes about 500 words per minute.
• The average person speaks at around 150 words per minute — meaning we have plenty of time to get distracted.

Listening well isn't passive. It's an active, intentional practice.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Listening Skills

1. Show You're Listening
   • Good eye contact signals engagement (without staring, of course).
   • Lean in slightly to show interest — it's a physical cue that you're engaged.
   • Keep an open posture — arms uncrossed, hands-free of distractions like phones or paperwork.
     
     
2. Master "Active Listening"
   • Understand body language updates:
     With remote work and cultural shifts, facial expressions and subtle gestures are often harder to read. Be aware, but don’t assume — fact-check by asking clarifying questions when needed.
   • Rethink the head nod:
     It doesn’t just mean “I hear you” — it often implies agreement. Use your nods thoughtfully to match the message you truly want to send.
   • Be fully present:
     We often listen through a filter of past experiences. Practice noticing when old memories or judgments pop up, and consciously return your focus to this person, this moment.
   • Ask thoughtful questions:
     Open-ended questions not only show you’re listening, but they deepen understanding:
     ➔ "Can you tell me more about that?"
     ➔ "What did you mean when you said…?"
   • Summarize and affirm:
     Recap what you heard — and confirm the next steps to ensure clarity and show genuine respect for the speaker.

Listening Is a Superpower
When we listen with care, we build trust, kindness, and understanding — in business, friendships, and even casual conversations. Skilled listening isn't just nice to have; it's an essential leadership and life skill.

And every time you listen well, you grow wiser, more compassionate, and more connected.

Recommended Resources to Build Listening Skills
• 📖 You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy – A fantastic deep dive into why good listening is rare — and how to get better at it.
• 📖 The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships: 9781462542741: Medicine & Health Science Books @ Amazon.com by Michael P. Nichols – Insightful strategies for truly hearing each other.

A Notable Quote to Remember:

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and
be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." — Ralph G. Nichols

LifeSkills Academy features online classes in Etiquette/Social Intelligence, Financial Skills, and Adulting. Educators are business professionals who have proven success in the world of commerce. Join our email list to receive class details, blogs, and useful life skills tips.

 Written by: Sandi MacCalla – Founder, LifeSkills Academy – 6/2/2025

We’ve all heard since childhood, "Don’t interrupt!" — but let's be real, American communication often makes that a tough one to follow. Daily distractions, fast-paced conversations, and even technology have changed how we interact. Watch the news on television or in movies and it turns out it’s a highly practiced means of communication. So where do we learn to do it with grace and respect?

Research reveals some interesting facets:

• Men are in the lead on interrupting to either establish status or share information.
  
  
• Women participate differently seeing communication as relational. Often, they allow interruptions to preserve the connection.
  
  
• Both men and women feel comfortable interrupting others within their gender grouping.
  
  
• Interruptions span a range from exerting control to providing valuable information as well as from politeness to intolerance.
  
  
• Many factors play into why people interrupt: culture, speaking speed, time pressure, interest in the topic, offensiveness/defensiveness, and more.
  
  
• As with most social interactions, how others act is not always “personal.” That is, it is more about them than it is about you. Handy to know when encountering less-than-pleasant behavior.

I now understand that ‘interrupting’ is more of a choice than a social code. And everyone has a reasonable part to play in it:

• For the interrupters:

• Interrupting does convey disrespect to others. Try to only use it when it brings value to a conversation to:
  • Move a topic forward
  • Fill in important information
  • Help alert others to danger
    
    
• Simple, respectful ways to interrupt:
  • Use the person’s first name who is speaking – “Agatha, that’s a very interesting point … “
  • “May I interrupt/mention/interject/add?”
  • “Would you clarify …?” “Would you help me understand …?”
  • “What’s your thought on …?” “What do you think, Stephane?” “Jason, do you agree?”

• For Moderators/Leaders

• Set an expectation in a meeting that everyone will be allowed to comment.
• Actively moderate a conversational-style discussion. Make room for appropriate interruptions/comments.

• For those speaking

• Model respect to interrupters by letting them speak. If, however, they go off-topic, redirect them back into the discussion:
  • “Thank you for bringing that aspect up which we will cover a little later. Please rejoin at that time.”
    
    
• If an interruption is not constructive, presume that it is not a personal issue. Afterward, take it offline to understand underlying issues and alleviate misunderstandings.

There is a final caution about interrupting:

When we interrupt, we miss out on what the other person is sharing.

Don’t miss a golden nugget from a disrupted speaker at the expense of telling your story.

LifeSkills Academy features online classes in Etiquette/Social Intelligence, Financial Skills, and Adulting. Educators are business professionals who have proven success in the world of commerce. Join our email list to receive class details, blogs, and useful life skills tips.

 Written by: Sandi MacCalla – Founder, LifeSkills Academy – 5/26/2025

In today's work environment, dressing appropriately is more than just a nod to tradition—it's a powerful tool for personal branding and confidence. Whether managing daily office life, attending off-site meetings, or preparing for that pivotal interview, your attire tells your story before you even utter a word. Let's explore how this can work for you.

The Power of First Impressions
Your clothing choices significantly influence perceptions in professional settings. Dressing in a presentable and conservative manner ensures that colleagues and clients focus on YOU, YOUR SKILLS, YOUR PERSONALITY rather than your clothes. This approach benefits not only the workplace but also during errands or unexpected non-professional encounters.

Navigating Business Casual
"Business casual" is perplexing, as interpretations vary across industries and regions. Here's a breakdown:

• For Women:
  • Wardrobe Staples: Slacks or skirts paired with coordinated tops or jackets, complemented by flats or low heels and understated jewelry.
  • Avoid: Cocktail-style dresses, workout attire, oversized garments, clothing with slogans, cut-offs, sports shoes, halter tops, and overly casual hairstyles. A light touch of makeup enhances a polished look.
    
    
• For Men:
  • Wardrobe Staples: Slacks with polo shirts, sweaters, or open-collared shirts, optionally paired with sports jackets. Complete the look with polished loafers and coordinated socks.
  • Avoid: Workout gear, oversized clothing, slogan-bearing apparel, cut-offs, sports shoes, light-colored socks, tank tops, and unkempt hair.

Dressing for Interviews
Interviews are your opportunity to make a powerful impression and set the tone for a successful interaction:

• Research the Company's Dress Code: Aim to dress one step above the company's standard attire.
  • If the environment is casual, opt for business casual
  • If it's business casual, consider a full business suit
  • When in doubt, reach out to the HR department for clarity.
    
    
• Color Considerations:
  • Black: Conveys formality.
  • Navy: Exudes authority.
  • Gray: Reflects conservatism.
  • Brown/Khaki: Suggests a more casual or academic vibe.
    
    
• Industry Influence: Fields like finance, law, and executive roles lean toward more formal attire.
  
  
• Fragrance: Opt for minimal or no scent to avoid discomfort or allergic reactions during limited space proximity.

During the Interview
Your demeanor and body language are as important as your attire:

• Posture: Sit back in your chair with a straight back, leaning slightly forward to show interest and attentiveness.
  
  
• Gestures: Avoid fidgeting with jewelry, hair, or other distractions. If nervous, interlace your fingers and take deep breaths to center yourself.
  
  
• Seating Etiquette: Keep your jacket on, even if the interviewer removes theirs, and always keep your shoes on.

For more insights on dressing appropriately for interviews, explore this guide: blog.easternflorida.edu 

Current Trends
NEWS FLASH - Gen Z are terrified of layoffs and the spiraling economy—so they’re copying Steve Jobs and showing up to the office in uniforms

Fashion is ever-evolving. Integrating modern elements can keep your look fresh and flexible:

• Day-to-Night Transition: Select versatile pieces to seamlessly shift from office wear to evening outings. Incorporate items like midi dresses or sports jackets that can be dressed up or down with accessories.
  
  
• Pencil Skirts: A timeless staple, pencil skirts can be styled in various ways to suit both formal and casual settings. Pairing them with different textures and accessories adds a contemporary twist.

Resources

To further refine your professional wardrobe:

• Podcast:
  • "Dressing for Work in a Way That Makes You Feel Like Yourself" - balances personal style with professional expectations.
  • “Developing Your Personal Uniform” from The Art of Manliness - creating a consistent and personal style. Listen on The Art of Manliness website.
    
    
• Articles: "What Should I Wear? The Ultimate Guide to Workplace Dress Codes" - comprehensive insights into various dress codes for men and women.
  
  
• Books:
  • Style Bible: What to Wear to Work by Lauren A. Rothman - insights to integrate corporate dress codes and enhance a professional image for men and women.
  • The Men's Style Guide: Capsule Wardrobe Essentials for Casual & Business Wear: Holden, Corina, Segar, Giovanni: 9798668011117: Amazon.com: Books

While guidelines provide a foundation, the key is to align your attire with your personal brand and your workplace’s specific culture. Dressing appropriately enhances your professionalism, boosts your confidence, and promotes team connectedness for your work journey.

“…People like you better, without knowing why, because people always
react well to a person they like the looks of.”  ~ Mary Quant

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