The Art of Interrupting

 Written by: Sandi MacCalla – Founder, LifeSkills Academy – 6/2/2025

We’ve all heard since childhood, "Don’t interrupt!" — but let's be real, American communication often makes that a tough one to follow. Daily distractions, fast-paced conversations, and even technology have changed how we interact. Watch the news on television or in movies and it turns out it’s a highly practiced means of communication. So where do we learn to do it with grace and respect?

Research reveals some interesting facets:

• Men are in the lead on interrupting to either establish status or share information.
  
  
• Women participate differently seeing communication as relational. Often, they allow interruptions to preserve the connection.
  
  
• Both men and women feel comfortable interrupting others within their gender grouping.
  
  
• Interruptions span a range from exerting control to providing valuable information as well as from politeness to intolerance.
  
  
• Many factors play into why people interrupt: culture, speaking speed, time pressure, interest in the topic, offensiveness/defensiveness, and more.
  
  
• As with most social interactions, how others act is not always “personal.” That is, it is more about them than it is about you. Handy to know when encountering less-than-pleasant behavior.

I now understand that ‘interrupting’ is more of a choice than a social code. And everyone has a reasonable part to play in it:

• For the interrupters:

• Interrupting does convey disrespect to others. Try to only use it when it brings value to a conversation to:
  • Move a topic forward
  • Fill in important information
  • Help alert others to danger
    
    
• Simple, respectful ways to interrupt:
  • Use the person’s first name who is speaking – “Agatha, that’s a very interesting point … “
  • “May I interrupt/mention/interject/add?”
  • “Would you clarify …?” “Would you help me understand …?”
  • “What’s your thought on …?” “What do you think, Stephane?” “Jason, do you agree?”

• For Moderators/Leaders

• Set an expectation in a meeting that everyone will be allowed to comment.
• Actively moderate a conversational-style discussion. Make room for appropriate interruptions/comments.

• For those speaking

• Model respect to interrupters by letting them speak. If, however, they go off-topic, redirect them back into the discussion:
  • “Thank you for bringing that aspect up which we will cover a little later. Please rejoin at that time.”
    
    
• If an interruption is not constructive, presume that it is not a personal issue. Afterward, take it offline to understand underlying issues and alleviate misunderstandings.

There is a final caution about interrupting:

When we interrupt, we miss out on what the other person is sharing.

Don’t miss a golden nugget from a disrupted speaker at the expense of telling your story.

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