Are You Listening?

Written by: Sandi MacCalla – Founder, LifeSkills Academy – 6/9/2025

Skillful Listening Elevates Work, Relationships, & Everyday Success

Today, we’re revisiting the art of listening as a powerful counterbalance to our earlier post, The Art of Interrupting. Whether you're leading a meeting, deepening an important relationship, or simply engaging with someone at the grocery store, listening is a choice and a skill that leads to real connection.

Here’s why it matters — and how to strengthen your listening muscles.

Some Eye-Opening Facts:

• 45% of communication is spent listening. (Rankin Study, Ohio State University)
• The brain processes about 500 words per minute.
• The average person speaks at around 150 words per minute — meaning we have plenty of time to get distracted.

Listening well isn't passive. It's an active, intentional practice.

Practical Ways to Cultivate Listening Skills

1. Show You're Listening
   • Good eye contact signals engagement (without staring, of course).
   • Lean in slightly to show interest — it's a physical cue that you're engaged.
   • Keep an open posture — arms uncrossed, hands-free of distractions like phones or paperwork.
     
     
2. Master "Active Listening"
   • Understand body language updates:
     With remote work and cultural shifts, facial expressions and subtle gestures are often harder to read. Be aware, but don’t assume — fact-check by asking clarifying questions when needed.
   • Rethink the head nod:
     It doesn’t just mean “I hear you” — it often implies agreement. Use your nods thoughtfully to match the message you truly want to send.
   • Be fully present:
     We often listen through a filter of past experiences. Practice noticing when old memories or judgments pop up, and consciously return your focus to this person, this moment.
   • Ask thoughtful questions:
     Open-ended questions not only show you’re listening, but they deepen understanding:
     ➔ "Can you tell me more about that?"
     ➔ "What did you mean when you said…?"
   • Summarize and affirm:
     Recap what you heard — and confirm the next steps to ensure clarity and show genuine respect for the speaker.

Listening Is a Superpower
When we listen with care, we build trust, kindness, and understanding — in business, friendships, and even casual conversations. Skilled listening isn't just nice to have; it's an essential leadership and life skill.

And every time you listen well, you grow wiser, more compassionate, and more connected.

Recommended Resources to Build Listening Skills
• 📖 You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy – A fantastic deep dive into why good listening is rare — and how to get better at it.
• 📖 The Lost Art of Listening: How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships: 9781462542741: Medicine & Health Science Books @ Amazon.com by Michael P. Nichols – Insightful strategies for truly hearing each other.

A Notable Quote to Remember:

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and
be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." — Ralph G. Nichols

LifeSkills Academy features online classes in Etiquette/Social Intelligence, Financial Skills, and Adulting. Educators are business professionals who have proven success in the world of commerce. Join our email list to receive class details, blogs, and useful life skills tips.